Mariana's Web page
Peace Letter
I am writing this letter to express the frustration caused due to your spontaneous
and tactless actions towards my education during my apprenticeship. I feel that there was a lot of thoughtless words and actions directed towards me. I may have blown this situation out of proportion, but these acts have affected me. There were many situations and circumstances that could have been dealt with properly but there was a lack of communication between us. In the following you will find words of gratitude and grievances about the apprenticeship I recently completed. This was a learning experience and I would like to express to you how this effected me emotionally and spiritually.I spent an average of fifty-two hours a week under your leadership as an apprentice and would like to thank you for all of your guidance and skills. The hours were long and hard but gave me the experience that I needed. I learned new concepts and ideas which intrigued me as much as they confused me. It was hard adjusting to all the new people and new ideas at an early and influential age. An eighteen year old has not lived a full life and you exposed me to free expression along with many strengthening tools. I was naive and sheltered from certain aspects of discrimination and stereo-types. I was amidst a community of vulgar and intimidating people. As a teacher you showed me that it is okay to be confused and unveiled a world that was very obscure to me. You guided me through this and helped me step by step and for this I am grateful. I paid a substantial amount of money for my apprenticeship and feel cheated because you cut it short by months. It is unfair and unethical for doing this because it was convenient for you at the time. For the money I paid I was taught a new trade and brought into a new society and within minutes you crippled my training and advancement as a professional. There were many agreements that were broken on a frequent basis making it difficult for me to keep up with this new trade. The circumstances were hectic and the odds were all against me, but there could have been another way for this whole situation to continue or in my case, end.
Another frustrating act in my eyes was the deception of your trust to me as a person. We are all human and make mistakes but should be willing to admit to our wrongs and try to fix them. You were unwilling to admit to your mistakes and I was used as your scapegoat. This was not only embarrassing in front of my superiors but mentally damaging. Your mentality towards everything is of a higher one that no one can understand. I observed your unwillingness to accept fault in any situation and blame others for your mishaps or forgetfulness. You were not always in the wrong. I admit that I did make mistakes that could have been avoided with more caution. It was not such a spectacle at first, but when one person is blamed for continuous things beyond their control, discrepancies between co-workers is expected.
I have learned a new profession and lifestyle and I believe that you meant no harm in your actions, even though your actions did have a deep impact on me in all aspects. You are just a naturally head-strong person and that quality has helped you through life. In certain cases, it can get you into a lot of trouble, hurt and frustration. You walked me through a new lifestyle that is not only eclectic but has deep roots in history that no one understands. You lead me through a spiritual experience and treated me as one of your own daughters. You taught me things that I would have never learned from my parents or relatives. I know a different side of people and how they react to certain things. I have learned to deal with and ignore behavior of ‘conservative’ people who make their comments about my profession and my altered appearance. I learned first hand what it is like to go through a major transformation physically and have people react to me differently . Life for me was always simple and after my experiences in my apprenticeship I was exposed to the ugliness of people in general. You showed me how to avoid becoming disenchanted easily and to keep moving forward despite the awkwardness or anxiety that would consume me daily. For this, I also thank you.
I wrote this letter due to the lack of strength I have to confront you about this. This was a delicate situation for everyone involved and was dealt with as best as it could have been. I did not write this letter for revenge or for sympathy, this was just a letter to express to you how I felt about the whole situation. I did not have an overall bad experience with you as a teacher, but would like to express to you all the concerns that I did have that I could not bring up at the time. I did not want this letter to upset you or make you feel as if you did wrong by me all the time. This letter was just a reminder that everyone is human and that we are only human and make mistakes. I hope that you understand where I am coming from and can possibly try to mend our difference of opinion.
Sincerely,
Mariana Mena
