I Hate Reading

I hate to read.  I hate everything about it.

I hate sitting down and staring at a page.

I hate how boring it is, and I hate how all the letters line up like little, crawly ants.

I hate how it makes your eyes hurt, and I hate the headache that you get when you read too long or think too hard.

Itís as boring as having to sit there and take it while your parents yell at you for hours and hours because of your grades.

Reading is like watching some stupid politician talking and talking on the TV, only worse. Thereís absolutely no action, no color, no sound, no nothing! Nothing moves; thereís just a whole bunch of little words plopped there on the page like dried-up, dead bugs.  

I hate how English teachers keep yelling at you to read and then get mad at you if you donít.  Maybe they think reading is fun, but I donít.  

Just because theyíre too old to run and jump and sing and make out like real people, they think everyone needs to be as boring as they are. Thatís why they make us read. And I hate it.

I hate it, I hate it, I hate it! 

Besides, who reads? 

My parents donít read. The guys I know donít read. Pro football players donít read, and theyíre millionaires. Drug-lords donít read. Pimps donít read. Rock stars never read. Hell, not even the President reads! 

When is the last time you saw someone on TV or in the movies sitting down to read?  Does anyone on a Reality Show ever stop to read? Does anyone in Grand Theft Auto ever stop to read?  No way!

Life is fast, and you gotta grab what you want on the run. Who wants to waste their life with their nose in a book? Not meóI hate reading! 

Besides, you donít even need to read.

In school all you do is remember what the teachers say in class and barf it back to them on the exam, and youíll keep them happy.

Learn how to outguess the multiple-choice tests, and youíll never have to read a word.

If they hit you with a paper or a book report to do, just kiss up and B.S. your way through it!  They donít read the damn things anyway, so just put down anything you want, and as long as itís long enough and sounds sincere youíll get a good grade.

When I get out of school the only thing I want is to get a job that pays a lot and where I donít have to read! 

After all, everybody knows that itís ďwho you know, not what you knowĒ that gets you a job. 

Maybe Iíll be a coachóever seen a coach reading? Hah!

Or maybe Iíll be some big exec with a desk an acre wide and a bunch of secretaries who read everything for me and bring me stuff to sign. 

Or maybe Iíll just sit home and play computer games and get high. I donít know. Just thinking about the future gives me a headache.

All I know is that I hate to read! 

And teacher, I double-dog dare you to try and change that.    

 [What's your response?]

O.W. 6/08

For educational purposes only.

Owen M. Williamson - Education Bldg 211E - phone: (915) 747 7625 - fax: (915) 747 5655
The University of Texas at El Paso - 500 W. University Ave. - El Paso, TX 79968
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